If you watch enough television where I live–Charlottesville, Virginia–you will probably see commercials for no less than four furniture stores. There’s Kane Furniture (with a kicky cool-jazz-with-flute jingle: “At Kaaaaaaaaane furniture, you’ll have a home fashioned just for you”), Under the Roof (which is a montage of modern-looking furniture set to a ragin’ drum solo), Grand Furniture, and Schewels (who always is having a sale. They had a Friday the 13th sale last month). I swear they advertise more than car dealerships these days, although it is understandable because in a recession, buying furniture is one of the last purchases on a person’s mind.
The unfortunate thing about all this is that with the exception of Schewels’ Crazy Eddie-like tendencies (“WE’RE GIVING EVERYONE CREDIT! WE’RE GIVING EVERYONE EMPLOYEE PRICES! FOR GOD’S SAKE COME IN AND BUY AN ENDTABLE!”), the furniture store commercials in Charlottesville are kind of boring. It’s like … yeah, there’s a couch with giant arms wider than most morbidly obese people. Oh, and a glass table with a marble column for a pedestal just in case someone from New Jersey might shop here. And a denim loveseat. I’m so excited.
But hey, I consider myself spoiled when it comes to local television furniture store commercials (yes, you can be spoiled in this regard) because I grew up on Long Island and our local TV spots were nothing short of epic.
While I am sure that there were more stores advertising on television, when I think back to the late 1980s and early 1990s, I think of two stores: Coronet and Room Plus
Coronet was a family owned baby furniture store located in Old Westbury, and probably did good business for quite a while when I was younger because those were the days before the baby superstores. In fact, nowadays, I’m pretty sure that if you do not register yourself at Babies R Us or Buy Buy Baby, you get a visit from Child Protective Services.
Anyway, the commercials mostly starred the two owners–a couple of brothers with mustaches who looked like your uncle or older cousin–and they’d usually be doing some sort of gag while their mother (“The Coronet Mother”) did the pitch. For instance, The Coronet Mother pitches with her two boys in cribs behind her: