Author: Tom Panarese

Interlude (My Life as a Teen Titan, Part Six)

The Titans contemplate death (and Gar Logan's mullet) at the funeral for Jericho while Slade Wilson, aka Deathstroke, looks on from afar.

Traditionally, the issues after a big storyline in a comic book are pretty tame.  Unless the reader knows that something big is right around the corner, a writer will spend that next issue cooling things down, whether it be Superman and Batman stopping a one-of villain or X-Factor going into therapy.

Marv Wolfman, over the course of his run on New Teen Titans and New Titans, became somewhat of an expert at the post-event story, starting all the way back in 1981 with “Private Lives,” the acclaimed story in New Teen Titans #8.  The team had just formed, encountered Deathstroke, and fought back both Trigon and the Fearsome Five, so Wolfman and George Perez took an issue to show the heroes getting their lives in order before ramping up a multi-issue storyline that involved Deathstroke, the Titans of Myth, and a hunt for the killers of the Doom Patrol.  Similarly, the parade/camping issue of #6 of the Baxter series came between a Trigon and Titans of Myth story.

There seems to be a pattern there.

Anyway, Wolfman seemed to be very aware that big events or moments, especially tragic ones, don’t end neatly, and many take a long time to resolve.  The most famous new Teen Titans storyline of all, “The Judas Contract” (which I will delve into one day) officially endedn in New Teen Titans Annual #3, but there was action versus one of that story’s villains–The HIVE–for three more issues, and the resolution between the titans and Deathstroke wouldn’t come up until nearly a year later with a scene in a coffee shop.

So it is with “Titans Hunt/The Jericho Gambit.”  At the end of New Titans #84, the Titans have escaped what’s left of Azareth and are sitting around wondering: a) what the hell just happened, b) what’s going to happen next, and c) does anyone have some clothes we can borrow?  When “Dirge” begins in issue #85, what happens next is Jericho’s funeral, which Slade Wilson does not officially attend (he chooses the tried and true tactic of being in the cemetery but staying far away from everyone) and that leads to resentment from our heroes, who are already acting self-righteous because he killed his own son.  Then again, you can kind of excuse it because they’re obviously working through some serious grief.

(more…)

XOXO

One of my favorite things about looking at old commercials, especially those from when I was a kid, is how someone thought that their idea was what kids back then thought looked cool.  Granted, in 1988 this wasn’t very hard.  I mean, this was the decade where you could put a bunch of random cartoon characters on screen for thirty seconds and tell us there was a toy involved and parents would be beating one another down in parking lots for the toys.

But those were toys.  How did you sell something that wasn’t a toy, or say a movie that looked like it would have cool toys?  How did you sell, for instance, food?

A few weeks ago, I took a glance at an old McDonald’s commercial, which was this sappy brother-sister number where the brother is obviously stalking his sister but it’s supposed to be all cute because he offers her a french fry or something.  Phone company commercials from that era are noted for this type of syrupy fun, and soft drink commercials?  Well, I’ve already talked about the epic nature of Dr. Pepper’s early 1990s ad campaign and at some point I’m going to get around to Coke.

But a lot of those commercials weren’t specifically geared towards kids, mainly because kids weren’t the only people going to drink Coke or go to McDonald’s.  However, we were the people most likely to eat Chef Boyardee.

Canned pasta has been around for what seems like eons (I think that’s its shelf-life, too) and there have been quite a number of products geared towards kids, such as Franco-American’s Spaghetti-O’s and Chef Boyardee’s Tic Tac Toe’s (yeah, I know it’s a misused apostrophe … it was their mistake, not mine).  The former is somewhat of an American institution because even those of us who have never eaten a single Spaghetti-O know the jingle “Uh oh, Spaghetti-O’s!”  Tic Tac Toe’s, however, don’t enjoy the same iconic status.  In fact, they’re not even made anymore.

But back in the late 1980s, the pasta company tried to break Spaghetti-Os monopoly on kids’ pasta consciousness and unveiled one of those commercials that I have never been able to get out of my head since:

(more…)

Revolution!

Stephanie Kaye next to one of the many "Out of the way Stephanie Kaye" posters that were up in the halls of DJH. Yes, they made posters. Photo from Degrassi Online.

Lately, when I’ve rewatched old Degrassi Junior High episodes, I’ve been marveling not only how realistic it is but how typical the plots seem to be.  Not cliche, mind you, but a lot of the episodes seem to be what I would expect from the junior high/high school drama genre:  drugs, sex, alcohol stories that are just “hard” enough so that you can picture a person of that age dealing with the issues.

Furthermore, when it comes to character development there are expected outcomes to the way certain characters act or consequences for their actions, even if the consequences come a few episodes down the road.  In the first season of DJH, Stephanie Kaye was one of the spotlight characters, or at least one of the characters that I remember being so prominent.  Her big struggle through that season, which detailed the first half of her eighth grade year, was how to deal with being popular while becoming more mature.  The last episode I discussed, “Best Laid Plans” addressed that, especially how she wore provocative clothing while at school yet dressed “down” at home.  We also saw how she treated her younger step-brother, Arthur, like crap.

(more…)

If I could just hold you again

When it comes to nostalgia, there are those things that are true memories and those which are false memories.  No decade has more of this going for it than the 1980s.  Eighties nostalgia is a juggernaut that began when I was in high school back in the early 1990s and really hasn’t stopped since, especially since I’ve had students who say they’re nostalgic for the 1980s, something I find hilarious considering they weren’t really old enough to remember it (And no, they don’t, because that would be like me saying I remember the 1970s when I was born in 1977 and my only memory of anything world events before 1981 is seeing Jimmy Carter on a television screen.  That might be a 1970s memory but it doesn’t exactly put me inside Studio 54).

If you are truly a Child of the Eighties, you are fully aware of these two sides of nostalgia because for every movie, television show, compilation album, or Glee medley that says, “Remember Eighties?  Here it is!  No, don’t think about anything that really happened.  This is Eighties.  Enjoy these memories.”  You’re not supposed to remember that Wang Chung had three good songs, only that they recorded “Everybody Have Fun Tonight” and made a seizure-inducing video to go along with it.  You’re not supposed to remember Fresh Horses, the piece-of-crap other Molly Ringwald/Andrew McCarthy flick, just Pretty In Pink.  And you’re not supposed to remember the Cloris Leachman years of The Facts of Life.

Okay, sorry about that last one.

Anyway, I’m one of those people who will listen to a flashback station on Sirius and be happy that Alan Hunter has decided to play “Stone in Love” instead of “Don’t Stop Believin'” for the hour’s dose of Journey.  Maybe it’s because I’m a nostalgia dork, or maybe it’s because I’ve been exposed to so much Eighties nostalgia for the past two decades that I need more than something that scratches the surface.  I think that everyone reaches that point in his life, where he wants more than just another playing of “Hungry Like the Wolf,” and usually there is one work that serves as a trigger for the true memories that lie beneath the VH-1-produced surface.  For me, it was “At This Moment” by Billy Vera and the Beaters.

(more…)

Can I Have Christmas Chocolate?

My English classes this week were reading Dylan Thomas’s short story “A Child’s Christmas in Wales,” which is a cute story about –well, the title’s kind of self-explanatory.  But what I love about the story, besides Thomas’s use of the English language, especially in his imagery and his wit, is that it’s one of the few Christmas stories that I have read (or seen on TV) that doesn’t attempt to teach me any sort of lesson.  Instead of Scrooge, etc. learning the “meaning of Christmas,” Dylan Thomas simply talks about the Christmases of his youth as a matter of fact.  I’m not sure if my students enjoyed the story (most of them spent two days either bitching about the fact that they had to be in school when every other school district in the area had the entire week off, or attempting to sleep), but we had a great discussion about holiday traditions and why we enjoy them so much.

Over the course of this discussion, I brought up some of the things my family has done since I was a little kid.  This included such time-honored traditions as my mother forcing my sister and I to sit at the top of our stairs and take a picture, getting a toothbrush in our stockings, and the long arduous process of opening the gifts under the tree.  Furthermore, I talked about how when you get to be my age and you have a family on your own, you find yourself either starting new traditions or carrying on old traditions either by yourself or with your siblings or children.  One such tradition has been holding on to the idea that while Christmas is a day, there is a whole Christmas season.

The idea of Advent has been around for at least a few hundred years and is marked in several ways by different religious denominations.  I grew up attending the Lutheran church and the tradition there was that during the four Sunday services prior to Christmas, there would be an advent wreath, which is a wreath with five candles (four purple candles in a circle and a white one in the center), sitting near the altar.  At the beginning of the service, the acolyte (which I think is what Catholics would call an “altar boy”) would light one of the purples candles (each a different shade of purple and I believe with a meaning, which I once knew, but my rejection of most things religious in my teens and twenties and suppression of Sunday School trauma led to this information being purged from my memories), with the  white one for Christmas Eve/Day to signify the birth of Christ. 

However, this wasn’t the only way I knew how to celebrate the Christmas season.  There’s been the obvious running of the Christmas shopping gauntlet and a barrage of Christmas-themed television specials and movies (as well as short stories in my English classes), but the most important one, since I’ve been a kid, has been the PeA advent calendar. 

(more…)

The Routine

A "fall in the suburbs" shot of a brother and sister that's worth some caption about Americana, but I can't think of one.

In the middle of my sister’s wedding last month, I walked over to her and said jokingly, “Now we are so happy, we do the dance of joy!”  She finished the sentence along with me, as it’s one of the many weird in-joked the two of us have, most of which have something to dow ith the countless hours of crappy 1980s-era sitcoms that we grew up watching in syndication because my father was too cheap to spring for cable. 

It is entirely fitting, by the way, that I turn to sitcoms when I think about what growing up with my sister was like.  I know brothers and sisters who are weirdly close, or have one of those relationships where the brother may as well be another father.  I also know brothers who are perfect confidants and had greeting-card upbringings.  While Nancy and I had annoyingly ordinary childhoods, we weren’t exactly the Cleavers of the Bradys.  On some level I guess you could say we were the Cunninghams, even though my parents didn’t have an older child who mysteriously disappeared (I’ve always thought that Chuck Cunningham was an early anti-war activist and a member of the communist party so Mr. C. drove him to the Canadian border under the cover of night because while he loved his son, he was proud of his country and didn’t want to face the humiliation of HUAC) and none of my friends were cool guys who lived above my parents’ garage.  Besides, we didn’t really grow up watching Happy Days unless WPIX was rerunning it in the afternoons.

No, we were more accustomed to vegging out in front of stuff like Growing Pains, The Wonder Years, Full House, or Charles in ChargeFull House, especially, stuck with us over the yars because it gave my sister her longest-running nickname (unless you count the Wonder Years reference “butthead”).

(more…)

The Jericho Gambit (My Life as a Teen Titan, Part Five)

The cover to The New Titans #82, picking up where we left off four issues ago.

Is it me or does it seem that I’m taking forever to get through coverage of what amounts to about 12 issues of Titans comics?  Well, I guess when you’re doing these once a month it is going to take a while, but in thinking of what it was like to buy New Titans off the shelf back in the early 1990s this is very appropriate.  The title, creatively, was doing very well and what the new editor, Jon Peterson had brought was the shot in the arm it had so desperately needed.  However, there were several times where it was terribly late, and that makes it kind of surprising that within a year or so it would be selling well at all.

Who knows why fans put up with it?  Perhaps having a book run a couple of weeks late isn’t that bad in the beginning of the Image Comics era of books that would ship late up to a year (to the point where it would become a running joke), although DC was able to get four Superman titles out on time each month, so it’s not like their operation was a complete disaster.

Anyway, I remember riding up to Amazing Comics each month with my money in my pocket and being excited when the book was there and a little dismayed when it wasn’t, although not having Titans meant that I could dive into the back issue bins for a few minutes and maybe add to my Wolfman-Perez collection.

It’s also pretty appropriate that I took forever to get to this point because not only had the book been shipping late, but the story itself had been dragging on for a little bit.  Not in an X-Men sort of way, but the last issue that I covered was New Titans #78 and I’m starting this with #82.  There are four issues (three plus an annual) that had a little bit to do with the story but didn’t advance it, and all of which I’ll get to next month when I take a look at the long road to the “Total Chaos” storyline.

For now, though, we have “The Jericho Gambit,” which concluded the “Titans Hunt” in New Titans #82-84.  What “The Jericho Gambit” actually means is beyond me.  Webster’s defines “gambit” as  a chess opening in which a player risks one or more pawns or a minor piece to gain an advantage in position.  No, seriously, that’s what Webster’s says.  I looked it up. But whose opening move is this?  I’d say that Jericho made his gambit back in issue #71 when he kidnapped all of the Titans or maybe even #72 when the ‘beests killed Golden Eagle in an effort to get Aqualad.  I think that they were going for a title that sounded a little like “The Judas Contract,” which is the most famous New Teen Titans storyline (and one I’ll get to at some point), but this time around there was nothing on the cover to indicate the name of the istoryline and I don’t know how much the book was advertised.  From what I remember, It wasn’t covered in Wizard (then again, DC had to kill Superman in order to get coverage in Wizard).

(more…)

Roy Rogers Rides Into the Sunset

The last Roy Rogers on Long Island.

This afternoon, my sister informed me that the last remaining Roy Rogers restaurant on Long Island, located off of Sunrise Highway and the William Floyd Parkway in Shirley, has closed its doors.  She linked to a story on Newsday but because Newsday and Cablevision have teamed up to nickel and dime everyone for everything, I wasn’t able to read the story.  But the gist is that Hardee’s (which owns the franchise) decided not to renew the restaurant’s lease.

It truly is the end of an era.  Roy Rogers was one of the only fast food restaurants in the Sayville area when I was a kid, located on Sunrise Highway near Johnson Avenue in the same shopping center as TSS.  That location closed in the early 1990s and I believe a Vitamin Shoppe stands there today.  Not that there aren’t any Roys restaurants out there anyway, especially for those of us traveling up and down I-95 through the mid-Atlantic corridor, and in the greater Alexandria, Virginia area.

In honor of the demise of Roy Rogers’ presence in my native land, I am reprinting a piece from an old website of mine.  In December 2002, I took my only trip to the Roy Rogers in Shirley, traveling out there with my sister.  I then wrote about it on “Inane Crap”, the site I had at the time.  Unfortunately, I don’t have any of the photos from that day (somehow they were lost and the Internet archive has been no help).  But you can enjoy my pretentious use of son lyrics and attempts at wit, and at the end of the piece I’ve linked an old Roy Rogers commercial.  So at least there’s something to scroll down to.

(more…)

Heaven in a Can

I don’t have much for this week, except that after years of looking for this commercial on YouTube and various websites, I finally found the classic Franco-American turkey gravy commercial where a turkey gravy can actually has a turkey inside of it!  It’s one of my wife’s favorite commercials and a sure sign that it’s now time for the holidays.  A Happy Thanksgiving to all!

Introducing Satan’s Daughter (My Life as a Teen Titan, Part Four)

A promo poster for The New Teen Titans (1984 or "Baxter" series) #1

So in making my way through the Titans Hunt storyline, I find myself putting off the end of the Hunt (aka “The Jericho Gambit”) and subsequent story arcs to flesh out the background of these characters as well as my personal collecting history.  Because when you are so into a series that you want to get every single issue going back ten years, there are definitely periods of time when what is going on in the present is an afterthought and you choose to relive the glory days of the past.

In this case, the glory days tie directly into the present as it is, because when “The Jericho Gambit” begins in issue 82, we will find out what has been hinted at for a while now–Jericho did not simply decide to betray his team.  instead, he is possessed by an evil force that has a connection to Raven and her dead father, Trigon, the raison d’être of the New Teen Titans.

In 1980, DC slotted a 16-page new Teen Titans preview into DC Comics Presents #26 and that short story starred Robin, who seemed to be having nightmares wherein he was fighting with a new group of Teen Titans.  Except half of these people were not familiar to anyone, and they weren’t really dreams but premonitions that a girl named Raven planted not only in his mind but in the minds of all the other teammates, manipulating them to team up because her father was coming to destroy the world.

Raven, you see, is an empath, and the only surviving offspring of the demon Trigon, the evil ruler of another dimension who has just discovered Earth’s existence and wants it all to himself.  Raven has been raised by the denizens of Azareth, a realm where people who dress like monk/cult members follow Azar, a pacifist goddess of sorts, and she has the power to heal other people’s wounds (and pretty soon will be able to actually manipulate emotions).  Knowing that her father was coming, she tried to get the Justice League of America’s help, and was rejected because Zatanna–the resident magician–saw something evil inside her.

The Titans do stop Trigon, sending him to a “prison dimension” and he spends the next four years manipulating his daughter in an effort to take her over, reenter our dimension, and rule the world.  What’s great about that is that it’s done subtly, through the occasional moment when Raven stretches herself too far or is too angered, or has a few panels here or there where she is behind the scenes suffering because her father’s influence has weakened her.

Trigon the Terrible: interdimensional demon. Don't ask him if you can date Raven.

Trigon meets his first defeat in issue #6 of the original New Teen Titans series, which started in 1980.  he would return with the beginning of a new New Teen Titans series in 1984, a series printed on better quality paper and sold directly to comic stores as opposed to newsstands.  In fact, the type of paper was called Baxter paper so the series is often referred to as the “Baxter” New Teen Titans series.

This new series was where I first encountered Trigon and really got to know the Marv Wolfman-George Perez era team, once again picking up one of the many back issues that Harris had gotten a hold of and that I sifted through during my sister’s piano lessons.  He had picked up issues 2 and 3 of the series, which featured Raven’s turn to evil (she grows another pair of eyes and her skin turns red) and then subjecting her former teammates to their worst nightmares wherein they face and ultimately fight and kill their darker selves.  I’d pick up #1 shortly afterward, paying only $5.00 for it because with the exception of a few very early issues or Deathstroke appearances, Titans back issues went cheap.

If you could find them, that is.  Because it would be a long time before I would get the rest of this storyline and find out how it ended.  I mean, I knew how it ended because Raven as of 1991 was still alive and Trigon hadn’t been heard from except a passing mention here and there.  But I would get issues #4 and #5 before “The Jericho Gambit” ended, tracking both down at Sun Vet Coin and Stamp, which was my “alternative” comic store, the place I went to when Bob didn’t have the back issues I needed.

This particular time in my life was when I was branching out on my own a little more.  Had I lived in a place where I could drive at the age of 15 or 16, this would have meant taking my brand new car all over Long Island to discover what comics I could find.  But I didn’t get a license until after I turned 18 and I wasn’t driving my own car until I was in college.  But I did have my bike and I did have friends who would ride insanely long distances.

the "Monster" comics shop is what was formerly known as Sun Vet Coin and Stamp. Picture courtesy of "The Caldor Rainbow" blog

My friend Jeremy was not a comic fan.  He was the friend I spent time with playing video games, watching shitty horror movies, and exploring a new thing called the Internet.  but when we weren’t screwing around at his place, we were riding to other libraries to look up books on the paranormal and to places like Sun Vet Mall.  I think he was indulging me by hanging out at Sun Vet Coin and Stamp because there honestly wasn’t anything else of interest, unless he really wanted to build model rockets.

Then again, there wasn’t anything really of interest at all at Sun Vet.  Located where Sunrise Highway and Veterans Highway meet in Holbrook (hence the name), the mall is anchored not by any department store, but by a PathMark and a Toys R Us (although back in the day that Toys R Us was a Rickel Home Center).  The mall is one level with not much else to speak of except for maybe The Gap, which was right by the main entrance, and Santa’s workshop, which was in the center of the mall not far from the snack stand that always made the place smell like soft pretzels.

So aside from throwing a few quarters into the Arkanoid machine at “The Subway,” which was a leftover relic of the Eighties, why would we want to go to the dimly lit Sun Vet Mall?  Simply put, in order to get there, we had to not only drive all the way across town, but we had to cross Sunrise Highway.

At 13 and 14 years old, this was a bit of a feat for a kid who used to have to ask his parents for permission to walk just a few blocks to the comic store or get a slice of pizza.  Sunrise highway was at the very north end of town and crossing meant waiting for a traffic light to change nad then running or riding as fast as possible across all four lanes, praying that you would make it across before the traffic started blaring its collective horn.

Possessed by Trigon, Raven takes on her former teammates.

That was the case if you were crossing at Lakeland or Johnson Avenues in order to get to K-Mart, anyway.  Crossing at Broadway Avenue and Sunrise Highway was less treacherous because there was a bridge and service roads,s o we didn’t have to dodge traffic.  The hours I spent making want lists and then combing the Sun Vet Coin and Stamp back-issue bins were just as many as those I spent poring over the prices in the Mile High Comics catalog, through which I placed comics orders for my birthday and Christmas every year.

My eventual purchase of all five issues (which are now collected in the Terror of Trigon trade) and the sixth epilogue issue brought together the culmination of a great era in Titans history.  Like I said, Wolfman and Perez had been working toward Trigon coming back and the Titans making their last stand since about 1980-1981 when the New Teen Titans series had begun.  Issues 1-4 take the team into the darkest of possible places wherein each hero is corrupted and turned into his/her darker self, but then turns on Raven (who thought she was controlling them) and kills her.  Issue #5, ont he other hand, ends in a symphony of light where the disembodied souls of Azareth use Raven to envelop Trigon and ultimately destroy him.  Of coruse, as we will come to find in “The Jericho Gambit,” thsoe souls would become corrupted and take over Jericho,w ho had once entered Raven’s body as a way to figure out what was wrong with her.  This is where I was around this time in The New Titans, waiting for the climax of The Titans Hunt, and then wondering what would happen if and when they finally escaped.

Next Up: “The Jericho Gambit” in New Titans #82-84.